Arrival Day 1 - Wednesday April 9
4:28am - All Bubbas begin awakening in anticipation of Bubba Myrtle 16 (Bubba Scottish versus Irish Clans)
5:05am - Digby relieves himself before Mrs. Digby wakes up.
6:00am - Bubbas that are flying depart for Newark, BWI and Dulles airports. Captain Triz calls Jeff to make sure he's already at Ronnie’s house since at the last minute, Ronnie begged Jeff to drive in order to have room on his credit card to make cash advances. Captain Digs and Billy each give their traditional tip the brother at the airport curb, each sliding him a Jefferson and saying, “Keep the change”. No wonder it’s a 50/50 for his clubs to arrive. Pete's wearing his Super Bowl NY Giants t-shirt and lets the flight attendant know he’s the last single Bubba.
6:05am - Bubba Ron is yelling at Bubba Jeff for not buying dip the night before on his way home from cocktails. Ronnie is worried about missing the draft and keeps mumbling, “It’s almost over”.
6:09am - Ronnie and Jeff pull out of Ronnie’s driveway and Ronnie says, "I forgot my cash". Bubba Jeff says "Good one Bubba".
7:00am - The Virginia driving Bubbas Adolf and GB cruise down 95 and stop off in Richmond to pick up Wes and Lucky Bubba. As soon as the Richmond Bubbas get in the car, GB turns to Adolf and says, something smells goooo.
10:30am - Bubba Adan is waiting outside the Myrtle Beach airport picking up his Bubba Roommate Triz. While waiting, the police officer asks Bubba Adan to turn down the "My Pony Macaroni" song. Bubba Adan says, "No problem litter."
12:00pm - Bubba Adan, Triz, Atkinson and other Bubbas that fly in early enough decide to eat lunch at the Doll House while talking about how Bubba 17 - 2009 Ireland is going to be the best Bubba ever.
1:30pm – Bubbas leave the Doll House smelling like love.
3:00pm - All Bubbas check into Sea Trails and begin drinking their cocktails while patiently listening to the Bubba Draft waiting to see if Bubba Ron will once again be picked last.
5:00 pm Bubba leave for the first round of golf. Adolf doesn't make it since he keep with tradition and passes out
6:00pm - Bubbas Play at the Par 3 Golf Course
9:30pm - Bubbas eat lots of food so they have enough energy to take showers before they hit the bars. Bubba Ron, Billy, GB and Adan take their showers in the hot tub.
10:00pm - Bubbas hit the REAL bars and watch GB hit on all the strippies that are off on Sunday through Wednesday nights. GB tells them that GB stands for the fact that he used to be a Green Beret. Chicks always dig this wrap.
11:35pm - Bubba Adolf pulls off another 2000 Odyssey Dance while other Bubbas watch I awe. This time, Adolf has to tell the 53 year old GILF that he’s married and cannot suck face with her. He proceeds to take her picture with his cell phone so he can send to Ian.
1:33 am – During last call, Bubba Ron decides to rally the Bubbas to have another Captain and diet coke (only # 11 for Ron since he’s diabetic and needs to pace himself).
Golf Day 2 - Thursday, April 10
6:15am - Digby rubs one out while Bubba Adan knocks out 499 sit-ups in his Hulk Underwear (down 1 rep from previous year since he'll be 40 in two years) and does 7 calf raises.
6:27am - Bubbas eat at the breakfast bar while people stair in amazement. They’ve never seen an ape dressed up in a golf outfit eating breakfast with utensils.
7:30am - Bubbas make their way to the golf course for 18 holes of golf followed by 9 holes of best ball
Sea Trail - Maples course 18 holes Tee times 8:04-8:32 AM
Sea Trail - Maple course 9 holes 2:01 - 2:29 PM
Assigned Groups - DIGS TO PROVIDE FOR 18 HOLES AND 9 HOLES
Historically the bubbas score well on day 1 (except Adan). Today is no exception. Cap’n Digs fires a 70 and Pete watches in awe. GB is heard whispering to himself on the 18th hole, I can’t believe Matt the Sack is not here and pulls down his pants in honor of Bubba Bracken. Bubba Adolf take a picture with his cell phone and sends to Ian.
6:30pm - Bubbas eat chicken wings, ribs and beer and share their favorite moment at the Masters:
· Billy: Turning and looking at Bubba Adan while Bubba Adan watches Bubba Billy fully enjoy his private lappie. Licking saliva … NICE!
· Pete: Still going on about the NY Giants upsetting the Pats.
· Jeff: Every year he convinces the stripper that her hamstrings are tight but that his wife is in better shape which makes the strippy visibly jealous.
· Ronnie: Watching “Hot for Teacher” while dancing to “Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap”.
· Adolf: Watching Ronnie at the bar away from all the other Bubbas thinking the strippers will congregate to him because he says he’s a professional soccer player.
· Wes: Last year when he refused to leave the private area until the stripper returned his shirt and the bouncers asked for back-up since Jeff was slow to move.
· GB: The night Pacifico told him he was so biggie. Actually, that was not the Master's.
· Triz: Does not care to share since he’s busy checking his account on-line to make sure all the Bubba checks cleared.
· Charles: Speaking in sign language to strippers on crack.
· Atkinson: Does not remember but is amazed that the Masters looks exactly the same as it did in the 90’s.
· Adan: Turning and looking at Bubba Billy winking at him while he enjoys his private lappie. Licking Saliva… NICE!
7:45pm - Bubbas take Tums and start drinking water to hydrate for their big night out.
8:00pm - Limo bus departs for Masters.
8:05pm – Bubba strippers show-up at the Bubba Palace because Bubba Adan forgot to cancel the strippies. Digby shits in his pants and calls his wife to say “I love you.”
8:06pm - Bubba Digs has his first official Bubba date with himself (Go Bubba).
8:59 – Bubba Bus arrives at the Master’s in a new record longest time of 59 minutes. Ronnie says, “Shouls have stayed at the Legends”.
1:00pm - Bubbas roll out of The Masters and stop at the FoodMart for their usual breakfast burritos, Pop-Tarts and Gatorade.
3:00pm - Bubba GB, Adolf and Adan continue telling Ronnie, "No really Bubba, I don’t think you should stay up all night and drink wine since you're diabetic."
Golf Day 3 - Friday, April 11
7:00am - Bubbas wake up and drink Red Bull and Vodka to get ready for their last full day together.
7:23am - Bubbas eat at the breakfast and Wes and Pete are amazed that a National Geographic is on location filming the Lucky Bubba eat breakfast.
Assigned Groups - DIGS TO PROVIDE FOR 18 HOLES
Sea Trail - Jones Course April 11 11:23 - 11:52 AM
JR CHALLENGE - Who is playing??? Does the streak Continue?
6:04 – Bubba awards are handed out and a new Lucky Bubba is announced Remember, a lucky Bubba must return the following year ….. IRELAND)
6:36pm – Bubbas Chug contest. It’s a blur by this time but all Bubbas remember to sing Oleeeee Ole Ole Oleeee, Oleeee Oleeeee!
7:00pm – Since this is the last night for all Bubbas to hang until Bubba 2009 Ireland and the fact that there is NO golf on Saturday, Bubbas decide to shower up so they can hit the real bars and drink like men and apes one last time.
8:43pm - Cabs arrive and Bubba Digs offers to pay for Ronnie’s drinks since Ronnie lost his wallet the night before.
9:17 - Bubbas arrive at the bar and don’t understand why they are offered a senior citizens discount at the door.
1:30 – Bubba Ron has to wake up Bubba GB who is passed out at the table in order to ask him if he wants one more drink since it’s last call.
2:55 – Bubbas make it back safe and sounds and Ronnie runs out of his room saying, “Great news Bubba, I found my wallet”.
3:35 – Bubbas retire for the evening.
Day 4 – Saturday, April 12
7:08am The Bubbas begin rolling out of bed and calling the airlines to see if they can catch later flights. Bubbas can’t believe that next year is an international Bubba Year and promise to give Triz their deposits before they leave this year’s Bubba.
7:09am – Bubba Ron is the first Bubbas to give Bubba Triz a deposit.
8:28am – Bubba Ron and Jeff hit the road so Bubba Ron can sober up by Florida in order to drive the second shift and make it back in time since Ronnie planned a work-event on Saturday (I hope Ronnie is not planning the IRELAND trip).
11:00am – Bubbas begin calling each other saying, “I miss you Bubba. It was a great Bubba. I can’t wait until Bubba Ireland 2009 Bubba. Bubbas, pubs, Guinness and golf, Nice Bubba!”